March 27th, 2023

​HINT OF SPRING – IN  OUR GARDEN OF GRIEF

There is a change in the season and there are changes on our grief journey.

Changes and good-byes care painful and times of fear of what the future will be like.  The feeling of life “out of control”  and fears of adjusting to a new and different course in our lives. Acceptance  is not an overnight happening but a gradual change , just as the seasons. It can be a time of an emotional roller- coaster.
   When in this time in our lives we need to look at how we are going to cope. We need some coping tools for our emotional  grief garden.

1.  LOOKING AT LIFE’S ALTERNATIVES: Acceptance of  life as it is now and having the courage and ability to look at choices and changes that will happen for the tomorrows. Life is like a river ever changing and moving.  We cannot stay rooted in the pain of today or a fixed picture of what life “is”, we have to be open to there being an alternative to where we are now.
2. USING OUR MEMORIES:(sum total of what we can remember). Persons and relationships never die but become memories. We can take back some control of our lives and our grief journey when we are in charge of our memories and can recall good ones and shut out bad ones.  Sometimes those memories will cause tears but later on our journey we will be able to laugh and cry too. Embrace the past but hold it gently as you move forward.
3. VERBALIZE  FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS TO A SUPPORT PERSON:  Finding and utilizing that support person or group is a vital tool to healing and moving forward. Sharing without shame or fear, feelings of “crazy”, anger, sadness, joy or relief, all aprt of the grief journey. “No man is an island unto himself” We need people to talk to, to heal and become a new wholeness.  Do not forget the children and other members of the family who are all on their own journey, too. We can share the gift of honesty, with ourselves and the others in our family and have a concern with where they are on their journey.  We can encourage and listen to their feelings and emotions and help them find supportive people .
4. BEGIN THE USE OF PROBLEM SOLVING: a) Look at what problem you are facing and state it. (b) begin to express how you feel about it. (c) Find a trustworthy person to share what you are experiencing. (d) Seek support and insight from others who are in similar situations. (e) Realize you are the only person you can change . Get out those coping tools, take courage, you are in charge of tending your grief garden.

Submitted by Shirley L Scott , Walking Through Grief Society  780-846-2576
Supported by FCSS City of Lloydminster, Towns of Vermilion and Wainwright, Villages of Kitscoty and Marwayne and County of Vermilion River 24